I made a home in the laugh in plaster,
I sat alone behind frosted windows.
I held my stuffed animals to my chest as I cried,
And I drank my tea from a broken mug.
Momma told me college was important,
That I had to have it to be an adult worth anything.
I needed to be smart to survive out there,
And I needed to be able to live on my own.
Don’t get me wrong, she was right in some ways.
But it is molded walls and false promises that keep me here,
Nothing but pennies to my name, and a pen running out of ink,
I just barely get by.
In a way though, I don’t have the heart to leave.
I found strength in living off the minimum.
I owe it to this school to fight on,
And I’m grateful for the way it taught me to live.
I know someday, I’ll face worse hardships.
I’ll be a mother, wanting to give them everything under the sun.
And someday, I’ll have to tell them that we don’t have enough.
We might have fewer presents that Christmas.
But that might be okay.
That might be what we need.
Because in this moldy dorm room, I realize
It’s the college that taught me how to tell myself no.
So thank you, for destroying me.
And thank you for killing me a little every day.
I may be sick, poor, and breaking,
But at least, now I know that I’m alive.