Thank You For Destroying Me

Author: HB Collins

I made a home in the laugh in plaster,
I sat alone behind frosted windows.
I held my stuffed animals to my chest as I cried,
And I drank my tea from a broken mug.

Momma told me college was important,
That I had to have it to be an adult worth anything.
I needed to be smart to survive out there,
And I needed to be able to live on my own.

Donโ€™t get me wrong, she was right in some ways.
But it is molded walls and false promises that keep me here,
Nothing but pennies to my name, and a pen running out of ink,
I just barely get by.

In a way though, I donโ€™t have the heart to leave.
I found strength in living off the minimum.
I owe it to this school to fight on,
And Iโ€™m grateful for the way it taught me to live.

I know someday, Iโ€™ll face worse hardships.
Iโ€™ll be a mother, wanting to give them everything under the sun.
And someday, Iโ€™ll have to tell them that we donโ€™t have enough.
We might have fewer presents that Christmas.

But that might be okay.
That might be what we need.
Because in this moldy dorm room, I realize
Itโ€™s the college that taught me how to tell myself no.

So thank you, for destroying me.
And thank you for killing me a little every day.
I may be sick, poor, and breaking,
But at least, now I know that Iโ€™m alive.

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